In this short feminist play, four huia birds discuss body autonomy, being literally objectified, and their imminent extinction.
The play is part of the installation Nests by Marcus McShane, and is voiced by Isobel MacKinnon, Fiona McNamara, Rachel Baker, and myself. It was presented in the NZ Festival 2016 as part of For the Birds in Otari-Wilton's Bush, and in Te Ramaroa Light Nelson 2018 and 2021.
Published by Penguin Random House as part of the anthology Bird Words: New Zealand Writers on Birds, edited by Elisabeth Easther.
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Huia is written for four women. Lines in which voices are overlapping are indicated with /, and are meant to be a chatter of noise, and can be improvised around as long as the tone remains the same.
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Huia 1: What is it with people who feel like your body belongs to them? I mean, just because it’s 1901 and my tail feathers are all the rage in London and everyone wants to make jewellery out of my beak…do I go around assuming that I can have your hair for my hat? Do I ask to wear your teeth like a necklace? No, I don’t.
Huia 2: Yeah, of course not! Because it’s rude.
Huia 3: I mean, yes, we are female Huia, and that means our beaks just happen to be curved.
Huia 2: It’s evolution!
Huia 1: Exactly, it’s evolution! I didn’t just wake up one day and decide to put on a curved beak so I’d get all this attention.
Huia 4: But also, you know, even if you did, that still doesn’t make it okay to leer at you all the time. That doesn’t make you feel good.
Huia 3: Oh my god, it so doesn’t! Just yesterday I was flying to the river and some guy called out, “nice curves! They’d look even better hanging around my neck!”
Huia 2, 1, 4 overlapping: Oh my god! / That is horrible! / Ew! / Did you respond?/ What did you say?
Huia 3: No, I didn’t say anything, I really wanted to but…you know how you always think of everything you should have said afterwards?
Huia 2, 1, 4, overlapping: Totally / Always / I know, it’s so annoying! / Yeah…
Huia 3: So I just pooped on him and left.
Huia 2, 1, 4, overlapping: That’s amazing! / Good on you! / You go burrd!
Huia 4: Yeah, and don’t feel bad about not saying anything. Those situations are really intimidating.
Huia 1: …especially when you know that they just want to taxidermy you…
Huia 3: Yeah, exactly! And then they’re all like “oh I’m just trying to give you a compliment, can’t a guy even give a bird a compliment these days?!”. But turning me into an object is literally the definition of objectifying, right?
Huia 4: Yeah, Huia are not objects.
All: Huia are not objects! We are living, breathing birds!
Huia 3: My beak is my beak!
Huia 2: My feathers are my feathers!
Huia 1: My body is my body!
Huia 4: Yeah, and you know, I love my body! It’s a good body. It’s a functional body. My tail feathers aren’t for pretty hats, they’re for flying!
Huia 3: My beak isn’t curved so it can become posh jewellery. It’s curved so I can build my nest and hunt my food and feed my young.
Huia 1: But everyone acts like we exist for their pleasure and nothing else.
Huia 3: You know the phrase I really hate? “Ruffle her feathers.”
Huia 4: Ooh I hate that one! How about “Calm down chick.”
Huia 1: It’s just gross. It’s like we’re nothing but trophies.
Huia 3: Yeah and then when we do all die out they’re going to be like “it was their fault, they were too pretty, it was too tempting.”
Huia 2: Ugh, gross. So wrong. So bird-blaming.
Huia 4: “Bird-blaming”?
Huia 1: What’s bird-blaming?
Huia 2: Yeah, you know, bird-blaming. When it’s the bird’s fault that they get hunted.
Huia 1: How does that figure?
Huia 3: Oh you know, because our curves were too curvy and we shouldn’t have gone out wearing such long pretty feathers…
Huia 4: That’s disgusting! And it doesn’t make any sense!
Huia 2: Oh yeah, it’s terrible. Huia don't cause hunting. Hunters cause hunting.
Huia 1: Yeah, all of that “how to teach your huia not to get hunted” crap? Did you guys get that from your parents?
Huia 2, 3, 4 overlapping: Yeah / Totally / Uh-huh!
Huia 2: Yeah, and that is a perfect example of bird-blaming. We shouldn’t be taught how not to be hunted. Hunters need be taught not to hunt.
Huia 4: Well then maybe we need to do some re-education!
Huia 3: What are you suggesting?
Huia 4: We could teach people what they should be doing rather than just tell them what they shouldn’t be doing.
Huia 2: That’s right! I mean, right now we’re in this situation where we’re almost extinct because humans think the only way to get to know a bird at all is to catch her. And that all comes from this lie that society has taught them—that you have to own and control everything in order to enjoy it.
Huia 1: Right, so like some "What To Do" tips.
Huia 4: Yeah, some Huia-positive advice. No bird-blaming.
Huia 1: “How Not To Exterminate All The Huia”.
Huia 2: Yeah, great idea! So like, the first tip would be…
Huia 3: When you feel the urge to go catch a bird, have a cup of tea instead?
Huia 1: When your fingers itch for your rifle, sit on your hands and shout very loudly “Help, help! I am a hunter and I have a problem!"
Huia 3: When your mates suggest a hunting trip, suggest a game of Risk instead?
Huia 1: Shoot some pool, not some birds. Have some drinks, have a chat...
Huia 3: Talk about your feelings, don’t be a dick…
Huia 4: But that really is it! People have to start by not being dicks!
Huia 2: Yeah, which, in more sophisticated terms, is understanding that Huia have rights just like any other creature, and it is bad to hurt other creatures.
Huia 1: Yeah, that’s like the basic theory. Second serious point would be that they need to stop bringing other animals that hurt us to our home.
Huia 3: Like stoats and possums?
Huia 1: Yeah, I mean, we wouldn’t bring a hyperactive great white shark or a manic grizzly bear to a human’s home and expect it to be cool, right?
Huia 4: And thirdly and most importantly: don’t take our beaks or our tail feathers just to make pretty things out of!
Huia 1: Yeah just don’t do it humans!
All, overlapping: Don’t do it! / Stop it now! / Stop objectifying me! / Huia are not objects! / My body is my body! / Yeah burrd! / My beak is my beak! / My feathers are my feathers!
(Conversation fades. Beat.)
Huia 1, sighing: Yep. It’d be incredible if they actually listened.
Huia 3: I think they will, eventually. But like, how long is it going to take? How many Huia are going to have to die before humans learn that lesson?
Huia 2: Yeah, and do you guys know the statistics? Four in four Huia will die during her lifetime, due to human causes.
Huia 4, 3, 1, overlapping: Oh my god, four in four?! / That’s outrageous! / I didn’t realise it was so high…
Huia 2: Yeah, it’s awful aye. I mean, the attitude is slowly changing. Humans are realising they can’t continue this way.
Huia 1: It’ll just take all of us dying first.
Huia 4: Four in four Huia…
Huia 3: Four in four Huia…
Huia 1: Four in four Huia…
Huia 2: Yep, four in four Huia.